Holiday Weight.

In 2006, I lost 30 pounds, but gained back 20 of them. In 2007, I was determined to lose those 20 pounds, and then some - and I did, about 75 pounds. After that weight loss, I gained about 5 pounds back and I try to stay around that weight. I used to be a compulsive weigh-er, stepping on my scale every morning. It was torture, since my digital scale shows ounces as well as pounds and weight fluctuates. Anyway, I didn't have my scale from June until we got our stuff 2 weeks ago - and I hadn't stepped on my scale. Not that I was scared to, but I'd gone 5 months without it and judging my weight strictly on how I felt. Meaning when I ate bad, I felt heavier and when I ate good, I felt better. I do a loose version of Weight Watchers - the program I used to lose all the weight. Basically I'll go a week of splurging a few times, and then 2 weeks strictly on Weight Watchers. I am trying to maintain, not lose anymore weight (as of right now).

But today I decided to weigh myself. I heard on the radio this morning that people tend to weigh themselves less during the holidays, for fear of what the scale might say, I guess. So I decided to not be afraid of the scale (even though Thanksgiving was just a few days ago). So I pulled out the scale and weighed myself. I gained 1 pound since the last time I weighed myself, which had to have been in May or June. But I was really proud of myself. I used to rely on that thing to validate my good feelings about myself - but now I know I don't need a scale to tell me how I'm doing. I can do it on my own! As a former fat girl, keeping the weight off for more than a year, this is a huge accomplishment.

I plan to not weigh myself for a while, because I don't need to. Not anymore.